Samatha

On Tuesday night I went to a meditation class! It's something that I have wanted to do for ages, but just never seemed to have the time. Anyways, I'm so glad that I did go. I feel better for it, even after just a few days. When we arrived at the course, the woman running the course mentioned a few of the reasons why people meditate. I related to so much that she was saying. I often find that my mind is just full and constantly darting from one thing to another, I want to do everything now, I want everything now and also I find it is easy to start thinking negative thoughts. Meditation is a way to free yourself of these. So, we'll see how it goes. After the class I went round to a friend's and we then went to a club, I had a fab night :)

Work work work

I have been such a busy boy this weekend; I have done 13 hours of extra work. That will be a nice little bit of spending money for me. I can go and buy myself some nice new clothes :)

Doing all this work means I'm missing everything on tv! To rectify this I am having Sky+ installed tomorrow. It lets you record easily without having to faffe arounf with a video, I can then get up to scratch again with EastEnders, Corrie and Hollyoaks......I'm a sad boy ;)

11 more nights until Szymon gets back..............................................................................

Windward

Ohhh, I'm in love. I'm happy, but I hate this feeling of vulnerabilty. The having to rely on another person, all of the turbulence that undoubtably lies ahead etc etc. Still, I shall follow the lines of this Mary Oliver poem, especially where she says a life without love is worthless. I guess if you live your life with love you never know what lies ahead, but you have to follow that path, because you know there's nothing else you can do or would even want to do. The bit of the poem I like the best is right at the end - when you feel the mist on your mouth and sense ahead the embattlement, the long falls plunging and steaming - then row, row for your life toward it.

Anyway, here it is:

West Wind #3
by Mary Oliver

You are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without any doubt. I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me. Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and your heart, and heart's little intelligence, and listen to me. There is life without love. It's not worth a bent penny, or a scuffed shoe. It's not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile away and still out of sight, the churn of the water as it begins to swirl and roil, fretting around sharp rocks - when you hear that unmistakable pounding - when you feel the mist on your mouth and sense ahead the embattlement, the long falls plunging and steaming - then row, row for your life toward it.

So there you go, it's easy to live your life all planned out, but that's worth shite (or a rotting dead dog)live for love....I sound like Babara Cartland!

Wish me luck ;)

Soy camarero!

I've got an extra job! I'm doing waitering and bar work at the weekends and some evenings to get a little extra money. So far I have only worked one day, but I love it, you get to meet such a wide range of people. It's quite hard work, but the time just zooms by. The money is absolutely shite though :( Because I have to pay the full amout of tax. Still, at leat while I'm earning there I'm not spending money somewhere else. Now I must dash....I have a wedding to see to at 4!