Samatha

On Tuesday night I went to a meditation class! It's something that I have wanted to do for ages, but just never seemed to have the time. Anyways, I'm so glad that I did go. I feel better for it, even after just a few days. When we arrived at the course, the woman running the course mentioned a few of the reasons why people meditate. I related to so much that she was saying. I often find that my mind is just full and constantly darting from one thing to another, I want to do everything now, I want everything now and also I find it is easy to start thinking negative thoughts. Meditation is a way to free yourself of these. So, we'll see how it goes. After the class I went round to a friend's and we then went to a club, I had a fab night :)

Work work work

I have been such a busy boy this weekend; I have done 13 hours of extra work. That will be a nice little bit of spending money for me. I can go and buy myself some nice new clothes :)

Doing all this work means I'm missing everything on tv! To rectify this I am having Sky+ installed tomorrow. It lets you record easily without having to faffe arounf with a video, I can then get up to scratch again with EastEnders, Corrie and Hollyoaks......I'm a sad boy ;)

11 more nights until Szymon gets back..............................................................................

Windward

Ohhh, I'm in love. I'm happy, but I hate this feeling of vulnerabilty. The having to rely on another person, all of the turbulence that undoubtably lies ahead etc etc. Still, I shall follow the lines of this Mary Oliver poem, especially where she says a life without love is worthless. I guess if you live your life with love you never know what lies ahead, but you have to follow that path, because you know there's nothing else you can do or would even want to do. The bit of the poem I like the best is right at the end - when you feel the mist on your mouth and sense ahead the embattlement, the long falls plunging and steaming - then row, row for your life toward it.

Anyway, here it is:

West Wind #3
by Mary Oliver

You are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without any doubt. I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me. Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and your heart, and heart's little intelligence, and listen to me. There is life without love. It's not worth a bent penny, or a scuffed shoe. It's not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile away and still out of sight, the churn of the water as it begins to swirl and roil, fretting around sharp rocks - when you hear that unmistakable pounding - when you feel the mist on your mouth and sense ahead the embattlement, the long falls plunging and steaming - then row, row for your life toward it.

So there you go, it's easy to live your life all planned out, but that's worth shite (or a rotting dead dog)live for love....I sound like Babara Cartland!

Wish me luck ;)

Soy camarero!

I've got an extra job! I'm doing waitering and bar work at the weekends and some evenings to get a little extra money. So far I have only worked one day, but I love it, you get to meet such a wide range of people. It's quite hard work, but the time just zooms by. The money is absolutely shite though :( Because I have to pay the full amout of tax. Still, at leat while I'm earning there I'm not spending money somewhere else. Now I must dash....I have a wedding to see to at 4!

Cat's Eyes 

Sunset! 

The kitten :) 

My friend Robjn did this for me, you have to be a Cambridge (gay) resident to appreciate it fully though :P 

Pink Picnic 2005 

I'm still here ;)

It has been ages again since I wrote here, which is very naughty of me. This weekend I am off to Manchester Pride. I'm looking forward to it, we're gonna stay there until next Tuesday, so it's like a mini holiday really. I'll hopefully take lots of pictures and put them up here. I am so skint at the moment lol! I am gonna have to be really good with my money when I'm in Manchester, which is why I'm about to nip into town now and buy a bottle of vodka and some red bulls so we can drink them in our room before we go out, so I won't have to spend so much once I'm out...how cheap of me :-p

Where's Estefania's blog?

It's gone, that's very naughty! You know how I like to keep tabs on you...Or maybe it was removed because it contained items of filth and vulgarity. Hmmmm I know that she gets up to all sorts that one, I bet that's what's happened!

I have had a good day, went to lunch with a friend and caught up on his latest escapades and also had a lovely quiche to eat that my next door neighbour brought round for me last night, it was very very yummy. I got a lot of work done this afternoon and also went back to the gym for the first time since before the holiday. So now I'm feeling nice and relaxed and it won't be long before I'm in bed. Tomorrow I am going to try and book hotels for Manchester Pride, which is coming up at the end of August. It's gonna be difficult though, as we wanna stay for 4 days and there are a lot of us going...and I'm skint :( Still, it's only money I suppose.

I'm Back!

Well, I'm back from Gran Canaria, it all passed by so quickly :( Still, I had an absolutely fab time. The weather was perfect, always around 28C and there was always a nice breeze too. The sun was very strong though, even with my factor 40 I still got a bit tanned lol! We became almost completely nocturnal when we were there, our day was like this: Sit by beach or pool from 2pm until about 7, shower and apply our aftersun and then go and eat. Then we'd sleep until about 11pm then go out around 11.30 until 6.30am the next morning! Was such a fab way of life, although don't know how long I could keep it up for. We are already planning our next visit, which I think will be sometime in October and we're gonna try and do 2 weeks!

Today I am back at work, although I haven't done much yet, I think I'm gonna wait until after coffee :)

I was catching up with my emails yesterday and I had this one from my brother, it simply read:
Sjr33 signing off!!
He has been made redundant after working there for over 15 years and my Granddad had worked there for 40 years before that. It made me cry. My Granddad will be turning in his grave!

That's how nice it was today :) 

Relaxing

This weekend has been cool. It's the first weekend in ages there hasn't been anything happening, so I've been able to just relax at home. Today has been really nice as the weather is fab too, so I have spent most of the day in the garden. I've been good though, I've done all my ironing and have caught up quite a bit with my French.

I went out on Friday night. I met Tracey's boy friend for the first time. He was really nice and we had a good evening going into various little village pubs, was quite quaint and very nice.

Next week is gonna be busy busy busy and then this time next week I will be mega excited as will be off to Gran Canaria eraly on the Monday morning yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smudge. But look at the weeds...I need to do more gardening! 

Liverpooool :) 

He Swears...

Last night was fab, was absolutely slaughtered though lol! And I had to walk home from the train station in Ely to my house, which is 3Km! I was feeling very sick on the train, thank goodness for relativity, the journey only seemed to take 30 seconds lol! Tracey can certainly outdrink me though, the last two pubs I was on halves while she was still on pints. This evening I am going to a birthday party in Ipswich which should be fun. Also this afternoon I'm going round to see a friend's new house, she has an honoury room for me there and she says it lush hmmmm I'm gonna live like a queen.

I'm not feeling too bad at all this morning after the drinking, here's a nice little poem to end my post. It's such a naughty little poem, I love it. It's by Cavafy, so I'm sure Stevette has the oringinal Greek....

He Swears

Every so often he swears to start a finer life.
But when night comes with its own counsels,
its compromises, and its promises;
but when night comes with its own vigour
of the body, craving and seeking, he returns,
forlorn, to the same fatal joy.

;-)

Mash...

It's Friday again, this week I have been lazy lazy lazy :( I put it down to the warm weather. I have done very little at work and absolutely no OU stuff at all. It's very bad as I have two assignments due next Wednesday and I haven't even started them yet! This weekend I'm busy being the social whore again, and therein lies the problem methinks lol! I do promise to myself that next week I will try harder. I have two work experience people with me all next week too, so I'll have to get them working as well ;)

This week has been very nice, the weather has been absolutely fantastic, I've even caught the sun a bit, so I don't look quite so pasty and gaunt. I had a bbq at my house on Sunday which was fab, I will put some photos up from it soon because we took 100s, especially as we became more drunk.

Tonight I'm going out with my friend Tracey. I had wanted to sit outside somewhere, but the weather has broken now and it's only just stopped raining...I'm an optimist though and the sun could come out again soon.

Quinze

It's almost the weekend again :) I kept my promise of last week and have worked my fingers to the bone all week. I now have a nice feeling of satisfaction lol!

Tonight I am going out with an old friend, we met up by chance a couple of weeks ago, it has beenalmost 15 years since we last saw each other, which is bad really as we have both been in Cambridge the whole time. We must have passed like ships in the night. Tonight should be good though :) I'll report back here soon...

No me canso...

...de esta jodida vida. In sharp contrast to last weekend this weekend was shite. All sorts of things and events were upsetting me. I'm not gonna write about them here, the memories of it can all just drift slowly away into oblivion lol! Today, however, I am feeling better and almost back to my normal self. Anyways, the bad happens so you appreciate the good, that's what I'm telling myself. And anyway, even when it's at its worst, you do still have to love it.

I kept to my promise of being a busy bee at work, I did loads and loads at work and was in the lab until gone 7!